How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Randomize
