Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
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