he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Randomize
