You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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