oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
i permit you to call me
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
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