no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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