I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
