I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Everyone says I win the strip club
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
