yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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