It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
