Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
