Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
there is glitter all over my balls
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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