There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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