i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
