we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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