Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
