she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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