My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
