I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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