Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
