Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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