I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
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