have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
