Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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