I'm really into asian looking animals
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
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