There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
