Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
