If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Randomize
