Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
