why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize