Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Vodka?
Forever.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
