Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
