just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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