check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
My cat gives me a boner
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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