i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
two words...techno handjob
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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