I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
