He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
