3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
