he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
