oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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