I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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