For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
