i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Randomize
