i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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