69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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