She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
The air was thick with penises
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
