my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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