sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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