I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
