Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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