also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
