I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
