I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
