Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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