It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
