Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
