Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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