Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
