Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Floor bacon is actually really good
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
