just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
